polariity | Prisonstuck IX

They're waiting for me!

[The words burst out in a wail, and the tears follow after soon enough.]

You don't underthtand, you can't, but they thaved me from mythelf! They thaved me from everything, I owe them everything, and that'sth what I thwore to them! I thwore everything I am and would ever be to them! If I could leave and I- and I didn't, that would be a betrayal! That would be the wortht fucking thing I could ever do!

[He sobs, and his entire body is wracked with it.]

[Dualscar doesn't answer, just sits there, immobile, with his fins up and hiding his face. It's not like what they have going on here isn't a betrayal, like what he's doing isn't just asking for a culling fork in the throat. Befriending a traitor, an enemy to the Empire, being kind to him, giving him as much free will as he can safely allow, and now rescuing a young helmsman... he doesn't know if the Psiioniic realizes this, but decommissioning a helmsman and removing their biowiring is a capital offense, something that could get both him and the blueblood who takes the wires out culled. Everything he's done since he crawled into the bathtub with the Psiioniic and cleaned him off has been a betrayal, of his station, of his duty, of everything he's worked for since he was seven sweeps old and had hands stained with green blood, and...]

[And that's when his body betrays him, and his chest hitches in one low, wracking sob.]

I'm thorry, I'm thorry, but you can't- you don't know, pleathe-!

[Try as he might, the Psiioniic can't stop crying. All he can do is reach up, normally clever hands suddenly clumsy as he reaches up to try and reach beneath those fins to cup Dualscar's face.]

Underthtand, pleathe, pleathe.

[Dualscar hates himself. He hates himself for crying, he hates himself for being weak, he hates himself for caring... but most of all, he hates himself for actually believing that anyone could actually feel anything towards him that wasn't hatred.]

[He bats the Psiioniic's hands away from his face, keeping his fins wrapped tightly around it, and fumbles at the helmet. Even with his eyes blocked, he can feel the little trips and catches that hold it on, and he works his way through them... until the helmet opens up and falls free from the Psiioniic's head.]

Go, then. Just... just go.

[His voice is rough and gravelly, full of everything he wishes he could hide away.]

Take your fuckin' drone and leavve.

[It hits him like a gunshot.]

[The entire time Dualscar has been touching him, he has only stared, nearly unable to comprehend despite seeing it for himself. But then the restraint falls away and the way he recoils backwards with a ragged gasp. Trembling hands go up to his face, heels digging into his eye sockets and it is the worst pain he has ever felt-]

[And the most wondrous.]

[He has no doubts that the pain is retribution- payback for being held in check for so long when power like this is meant to burst. It's too much for just one meager little troll body to handle, but somehow, he always has, and alongside the pain, there's a rush. Rasping for breath, he raises one hand, fingers shaking, and let's it all flow.]

[Everything is red-blue.]

[Everything rises.]

[The books rustle and hover from their shelves, this paltry little fort begins to float as if gravity is some sort of idea for a different reality. Paper and oranges and even Dualscar- right up from the floor. The entire library is awash in those two colors, outdoing even the moonglow from the windows. Only the Psiioniic remains on the floor, curling up with his hands pressing against his eyes, energy leaking out between his fingers. Eventually, however, he too is pushed up, but there's more focus to the way the energy pulses and curls around him, helping him to his feet.]

[He feels weightless. He feels like he could touch everything. It's been too long.]

[His hands fall away, and the fall turns into a sweeping gesture with his palms held outward. A look of wonder is spread across his face, eyes brilliant, and the tears still upon his face looking ethereal. His voice is hushed.]clear.

[The drone squeaks and starts scrambling, beginning to panic as it's lifted into the air, but Dualscar doesn't respond. He just pulls tighter around himself, tucking into a ball, his fins still over his face, ignoring everything that's going on around him. Why bother? Why bother caring? It only gets him hurt when he does.]

[For a few minutes, the Psiioniic doesn't even notice Dualscar. He's too enthralled with his own power, so dearly missed. He can pick up every single book in this place, put them wherever he wants, so effortlessly and without moving from his spot.]

[But when he finally does, oh, when he finally lays his eyes upon that pitiful, beautiful excuse of a seadweller... Energy tugs at Dualscar's limbs, wanting him open and not curled up. Floating upwards, he lets his hands slide along Dualscar's chest and over to his arms, that he grips.]

[His smile is a jagged tear along his face, filled with sharp teeth. To call it 'manic' is to put it lightly.]

I'll take you with me.

I'll thow you thingth you've never theen before, 22, and I won't let a thing touch uth, or them, or anything. I told you, I'll make everything burn before that happenth, I can do it.

[Dualscar doesn't want to be uncurled, he doesn't want the Psiioniic's hands on his chest or arms, he just wants to be left alone. Left alone, and preferably somewhere deep underwater, where it's silent and still and no one can see him be weak.]

[But the force of the psionics is more than he can stand against, and he's pried open, exposed and vulnerable, and for one brief, shining instant, he hates the Psiioniic for it. He hates him for making him so fucking weak.]

[It isn't until the other troll speaks, though, that Dualscar finally uncurls his fins from around his face and looks at him, really sees that manic grin and the way the Psiioniic's eyes are lit up like a pair of stars in his face.]

Don't you get it? I can't.

[He can't take the fire in the other troll's gaze, and looks away.]

I can't, I can't, wwho do you think is running interference for them, wwho do you think is keeping the Fleet off their backs, wwho do you think is trying to fucking protect them?

You won't have to anymore.

[No, don't look away, he wants to see those eyes on him again. Warm fingers run up to one cheek and there is something disconnected in his voice.]

You won't have to, becauthe I will make that entire worthleth fleet nothing more than ruin. I can do that now, I can, don't you thee?

Yeah?

[Dualscar reluctantly lets the Psiioniic turn his face back towards him.]

And then wwhat? Wwhat about wwhen they build more? Wwhat about all the soldiers on them? Wwhat about the helmsmen? Are you just going to sink them all?

I...

[His expression loses that manic excitement, and begins to sink into something more worried, perhaps slightly confused.]

I wouldn't... Not them, they detherve..

[The glow in his eyes lessens.]

I... Fuck. [Squeezing his eyes shut, he presses his hand against his eyes again.]

Yeah.

[Dualscar turns his face away again, and crosses his arms over his chest.]

It's not that easy, is it?

[The Psiioniic just shudders and doesn't answer for a moment. Instead, he just focuses, and slowly the energy begins to lower them back to solid ground again. Hesitantly, he tries to reach for Dualscar's hand.]

I... I'm thorry.

[Dualscar relaxes a little when his feet touch solid ground, and he lets the Psiioniic take his hand.]

So am I.

[Sorry for what? How about everything?]

It... I wathn't prepared for it. It wath too much, too thoon.

[His fingers start to stroke Dualscar's knuckles apologetically.]

I got a little wortht. I wathn't thinking.

It happens.

[Dualscar passively allows the hand-holding, but his face is still closed off and distant. He gestures at the drone, who is still cowering a few inches off the ground.]

Go ahead. Take that and go.

[Seeing that sort of expression makes him feel sick. After everything they've had to deal with to get to this point, after all they've done to each other and wanted from one another... This is how it's going to end?]

Dualthcar. 22. It ithn't you. You know that, don't you?

[He wants this, he doesn't want to lose it, he just... he doesn't!]

Wwhatever.

[Of course it's him, why is the Psiioniic even trying to lie and pretend otherwise? What else is there?]

[He pulls his hand out of the Psiioniic's grasp and turns away, pulling his cape tight around his hunched shoulders.]

You knoww the wway out.

Fuck you!

[Energy suddenly around Dualscar's shoulders, jerking him back around so the Psiioniic can scream at him properly.]

I gave up everything for them! You knew that from the fucking thtart! I would have thtayed behind, be captured, jutht tho they could have a chance at even a little more freedom! I let mythelf be captured, be tortured, nearly die for them, and you- you fucking thelfith theadweller, who the fuck are you to act like the fucking wounded martyr!?

[Dualscar snarls when the Psiioniic spins him around, his fins flaring out into full intimidation mode, and then he's screaming too, screaming and struggling against his invisible bonds.]

Do you havve any idea wwhat I'm givvin' up here?! Wwhat I'vve been doin' to keep your friends safe?! I can't go back either, I'm as much a traitor as you are noww, you might as wwell just fuckin' tear me apart wwith your mind noww and savve them the trouble of cullin' me! And burn dowwn this hivve wwhile you're at it, and lay wwaste to evverything you can, let the wwhole fuckin' planet burn, and it'll all be Orphaner Dualscar's fault, wwon't it? Wwon't it?!! The stupid fuckin' seadwweller wwho fell in lovve wwith a rebel and destroyed evverything!!

You're doing it again!

[The Psiioniic could nearly tear his hair out in frustration and rage and hurt and betrayal. This isn't how it was supposed to be, but what the hell does he know!? Just a naive fucking yellowblood, thinking he could do anything towards him.]

Thith ithn't about you, you rotten fuck, thith ithn't about burning the empire tho that it'sth brought down to it'sth fucking kneeth! [He makes a deer noise in frustration.] You thaid you'd lithten, I thought you did, but you didn't!

Then explain it to me! Tell me wwhat I'm missin', wwhat I don't understand!

[Whale noises are the only appropriate response to deer noises.]

Because right noww all I knoww is that...

... is that you're...

... that you're leavvin'.

[Dualscar's voice breaks on the last word, and even though he can't curl back up into a ball, he can still turn his head and get his fins up over his face, which he does.]

You're leavvin', so wwhat else evven matters? B-burn dowwn the Empire, sink the fleets, t-tear the wworld ap-part, I don't care. It doesn't matter... nothin' m-matters...

[And then, for the first time in sweeps, the first time he can remember... Orphaner Dualscar is crying.]

[Fuck him. Let him die and burn because he shouldn't be able to reach into his heart like this, pluck at the strings until they're screeching. The Psiioniic's entire body shakes when he takes a breath, and he reaches over, fingers trembling against his fin.]

I love you. You make my heart ache, you bathtard. I'm not leaving becauthe of you. I'm leaving becauthe...

[Another deer noise, but this one is small and frustrated and miserable.]

Have you ever... ever... been in a thituation you thought wath hopeleth, that you couldn't change... and then one day you could?

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