Prisonstuck IX

[polariity]

[By this point, it's been a few weeks since he's been with Dualscar, and he's adjusted to it. The seadweller doesn't always stay at the hive, which is understandable. Someone of his caste is expected to stay busy. Each time he returns, the Psiioniic nearly clings to him, wanting to hear news- or even lack of it- concerning his three friends.]

[Besides that, on his own, the Psiioniic mostly sticks to the library. Occasionally he explores the large hive again, wondering if anything has changed. It's a calm routine. For someone like him, it nearly feels unnatural.]

[...Which is quite possibly one reason explaining why, one night, he manages to get a hold of yellow dye and interrupts a drone on laundry duty. The next night, and it's done.]

[A bored rebel psionic was a disaster just waiting.]

[By now, he's stayed in the kitchen, idly chattering at his drone as he watches the kitchen worker make breakfast. It's almost like he's entirely forgotten about his little prank.]

[Which he hasn't, but he needs something to do to pass the time until it's discovered.]

Comments

[badpirattitude]

[Dualscar relaxes a little when his feet touch solid ground, and he lets the Psiioniic take his hand.]

So am I.

[Sorry for what? How about everything?]

[polariity]

It... I wathn't prepared for it. It wath too much, too thoon.

[His fingers start to stroke Dualscar's knuckles apologetically.]

I got a little wortht. I wathn't thinking.

[badpirattitude]

It happens.

[Dualscar passively allows the hand-holding, but his face is still closed off and distant. He gestures at the drone, who is still cowering a few inches off the ground.]

Go ahead. Take that and go.

[polariity]

[Seeing that sort of expression makes him feel sick. After everything they've had to deal with to get to this point, after all they've done to each other and wanted from one another... This is how it's going to end?]

Dualthcar. 22. It ithn't you. You know that, don't you?

[He wants this, he doesn't want to lose it, he just... he doesn't!]

[badpirattitude]

Wwhatever.

[Of course it's him, why is the Psiioniic even trying to lie and pretend otherwise? What else is there?]

[He pulls his hand out of the Psiioniic's grasp and turns away, pulling his cape tight around his hunched shoulders.]

You knoww the wway out.

[polariity]

Fuck you!

[Energy suddenly around Dualscar's shoulders, jerking him back around so the Psiioniic can scream at him properly.]

I gave up everything for them! You knew that from the fucking thtart! I would have thtayed behind, be captured, jutht tho they could have a chance at even a little more freedom! I let mythelf be captured, be tortured, nearly die for them, and you- you fucking thelfith theadweller, who the fuck are you to act like the fucking wounded martyr!?

[badpirattitude]

[Dualscar snarls when the Psiioniic spins him around, his fins flaring out into full intimidation mode, and then he's screaming too, screaming and struggling against his invisible bonds.]

Do you havve any idea wwhat I'm givvin' up here?! Wwhat I'vve been doin' to keep your friends safe?! I can't go back either, I'm as much a traitor as you are noww, you might as wwell just fuckin' tear me apart wwith your mind noww and savve them the trouble of cullin' me! And burn dowwn this hivve wwhile you're at it, and lay wwaste to evverything you can, let the wwhole fuckin' planet burn, and it'll all be Orphaner Dualscar's fault, wwon't it? Wwon't it?!! The stupid fuckin' seadwweller wwho fell in lovve wwith a rebel and destroyed evverything!!

[polariity]

You're doing it again!

[The Psiioniic could nearly tear his hair out in frustration and rage and hurt and betrayal. This isn't how it was supposed to be, but what the hell does he know!? Just a naive fucking yellowblood, thinking he could do anything towards him.]

Thith ithn't about you, you rotten fuck, thith ithn't about burning the empire tho that it'sth brought down to it'sth fucking kneeth! [He makes a deer noise in frustration.] You thaid you'd lithten, I thought you did, but you didn't!

1/3

[badpirattitude]

Then explain it to me! Tell me wwhat I'm missin', wwhat I don't understand!

[Whale noises are the only appropriate response to deer noises.]

Because right noww all I knoww is that...

2/3

[badpirattitude]

... is that you're...

3/3

[badpirattitude]

... that you're leavvin'.

[Dualscar's voice breaks on the last word, and even though he can't curl back up into a ball, he can still turn his head and get his fins up over his face, which he does.]

You're leavvin', so wwhat else evven matters? B-burn dowwn the Empire, sink the fleets, t-tear the wworld ap-part, I don't care. It doesn't matter... nothin' m-matters...

[And then, for the first time in sweeps, the first time he can remember... Orphaner Dualscar is crying.]

[polariity]

[Fuck him. Let him die and burn because he shouldn't be able to reach into his heart like this, pluck at the strings until they're screeching. The Psiioniic's entire body shakes when he takes a breath, and he reaches over, fingers trembling against his fin.]

I love you. You make my heart ache, you bathtard. I'm not leaving becauthe of you. I'm leaving becauthe...

[Another deer noise, but this one is small and frustrated and miserable.]

Have you ever... ever... been in a thituation you thought wath hopeleth, that you couldn't change... and then one day you could?

[badpirattitude]

[Dualscar is fighting his bonds as hard as he can, trying desperately to collapse and curl into a ball again.]

No!

[He doesn't want to talk about this, all he wants is to get away, to retreat, to not have to deal with all the things he doesn't want to remember.]

It's alwways been fuckin' hopeless, alwways...

[polariity]

No, no, it'sth only that way becauthe everyone ith thcared-

[Again he steps closer. There's no fighting those bonds, Dualscar. This is the strongest psionic in all of Alternia, and this is the least he can manage.]

And god, I wath thcared, but now I'm not, becauthe I can fight back, I realized I could. 22, come on, tell me- [He presses against him, face against Dualscar's neck.] You're alwayth tho thcared.

[badpirattitude]

I'm not...

[Really, arguing that point is as futile as trying to get away from the Psiioniic's hold on him. Especially with the way Dualscar's body tenses as the Psiioniic presses against him, going rigid and fearful for a moment, before completely melting and trying to push forward, trying to get close to the other troll, fighting the bonds not to get away, but to get closer.]

I'm... I'm... fuck!

[Even if the Psiioniic doesn't let him go, Dualscar can still move his head enough to lean forward, put his head on the Psiioniic's shoulder, and start sobbing.]

[polariity]

[He hadn't even realized how tense he was until Dualscar begins to press against him, and the Psiioniic nearly falls apart. Thank god. His arms wrap around him, hands against his hair and back.]

I'm here. I'm thtill here. I didn't leave you. 22, god...

[badpirattitude]

[Those arms around him break Dualscar down completely, and he leans heavily on the Psiioniic and just cries. Everything he's held back, everything he's pushed down for sweeps and sweeps... it comes out in a torrential flood, all over the Psiioniic's shoulder. He can't speak right now, not until he's under control again.]

[polariity]

I'm here. I'm here.

[He repeats those familiar words over and over like a lullaby, threading his fingers through that wavy hair and fingering those lightning bolt horns of his. He's never had to be the one relied on, always the one relying, but this.... this broken fool of a seatroll...]

[badpirattitude]

[It takes awhile, but Dualscar eventually quietens down, his tears drying up and his out-of-control emotions settling. He doesn't move his head from the Psiioniic's shoulder, though.]

[He is broken... he's so completely and totally shattered, held together only by determination, hatred, and pure ill will, but the Psiioniic makes it so hard. It's so hard to keep himself cold and separate and aloof.]

I can't... I can't do this anymore...

[He tugs on his bonds, trying to pull his arms up so he can cling to the Psiioniic.]

[polariity]

[Gently, the bonds disperse, and the Psiioniic turns his head to the side, kissing along Dualscar's fin once again. He wants to reach into this troll and put together all his broken pieces.]

Then don't. Do thomething different.

[badpirattitude]

[As soon as the bonds are gone, Dualscar reaches up and clutches the Psiioniic close against him.]

I don't... this is all I knoww...

[He rotates his fin towards the Psiioniic's kisses and, unknowingly, brings one hand up and starts rubbing the scars on his face, tracing them with his fingertips.]

[polariity]

Then learn more.

[It's hard to breath, being held so tightly like this, but he makes it through. His hand slides against Dualscar's back before slipping to return to the front, where the Psiioniic can gently lay his hand over Dualscar's.]

I'll teach you.

[badpirattitude]

[Feeling the Psiioniic's hand over his, so close to his face and his scars, seems to snap Dualscar out of his depression. He lets go of the Psiioniic and steps away, out of reach, and almost has to force his hand away from his scars.]

You're too late.

[He looks away, and his hand rises, tracing the scars again, drawing attention to them, when normally he goes out of his way to pretend they don't exist.]

You're sixty-seven swweeps too late.

[polariity]

Don't.

[His hand snaps forward, tightening around Dualscar's cape. The Psiioniic's fangs are bared once again in his aggravation.]

If I'm too late, than why am I here? Why did I thtop being a prithoner, a filthy lowblood toy, and became thomeone you let touch you, thomeone allowed to thtrip you bare, thomeone you'll fucking rithk your life to thave?

[badpirattitude]

I don't knoww!

[Dualscar snarls back in response, at the same time that he cringes away from the Psiioniic's grasping hand, almost subconsciously. He jerks on his cape, trying to pull it out of the other troll's grip.]

I don't knoww, I wwish you hadn't, I wwish they'd chosen someone else to break you, then everything wwould still make sense!

[His hands snaps to his face again, his claws digging into his skin.]

Do you knoww howw long I've been a joke, Psiioniic? Do you have any idea wwhat it's like to have everything you've ever done be nothing more than fucking repentance for something you can't let go?!